Corpus Delicti

Sergei Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 15:22:59 -0500

In 1897, serious difficulties began to appear in front of Rachmaninoff who was already working as a composer, pianist and conductor at the age of 24. After he completed First Symphony in 1897, it was severly denouonced by critics—one even mocked the piece might have been produced by ”a Conservatory in Hell.” Young Rachmaninoff was devastated, also with financial problems.

In January of 1900, when Rachmaninoff visited Leo Tolstoy, the legendary writer, and played the piano for him, Leo Tolstoy responded to Rachmaninoff’s performance by saying, “ Tell me, is such music needed by anybody?… I must tell you how I dislike it all!… Beethoven is nonsense, Pushkin and Lermontov also.”

Rachmaninoff fell into the deep hollow of depression. Although later in that day, Tolstoy apologized about his rudeness, Rachmaninoff stopped composing altogether. From 1900, he suffered through major depression and the writer’s block. Writer’s block is a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity. Major depression, or clinical depression is not only characterized by a persistent low mood, loss of interest in usual activities and diminished ability to experience pleasure, but also impulse to commit a suicide.

Fortunately, Rachmaninoff’s cousin introduced Dr.Nikolai Dahl, himself an amateur musician, and Dahl with combined the technique of hypnosis, shared pleasant conversations about music. Rachmaninoff began to improve rapidly. By summer he had started on the new concerto.

That new concerto completed after the conquest of serious illness is Piano Concerto in C minor. This piece begins gloomiously and stormily—may be to express his depression, but gradually transforms to express the joy and delight of life, and finishes grandly with an overflowing joy.

Whenever I listen to this concerto—I am listening right now, too—I can always feel in details Rachmaninoff’s great pain by trampling of his music so his life, and later, his as ever ardent love and delight in music.

This is my favorite piano piece. :-)

“What is Community?”

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 19:36:00 -0500

One day, when I was a junior in high school, American Literature class was discussing prejudice. At one point, our teacher asked me, “JoAn, every Asian can play a musical instrument, right?” Of course, I said, “No. That is not true.” But since all of my siblings, including the Korean exchange student we host, and I play a musical instrument—I play the violin, Kate plays the piano, Peter plays the cello, Lisa plays the violin and Joseph plays the trumpet— I could not support my answer with any evidence. “But, my family is musical. Why did you think that?” She answered, “Well, you guys are Asians!” Through my experiences and observations for five years in a foreign nation, which is America, I realized many Americans just assume that since I am Asian, I am smart and musical. To assume that every Asian is smart and plays an instrument is absurd. Even though many Asians are known to be smart and have shown their prominence in music field, there are around 2 billion of us! Because I have small black eyes, “yellow” skin and black hair, people have linked me in the community of smart people and in the community of musicians. I do, though, seem to be part of both communities: I was salutatorian when I graduated from high school and I have played the violin for more than 10 years. These facts are not due to my beings Asian. Why do people make wrong assumptions about me? Why do people always look at me through the stereotypes? Where do the stereotypes come from? People define each other through communities; everybody is in variable kinds of communities that reveal some characteristics about each other. Let’s explore the nature of community and see why and how it works like that. 1. The Foundational Nature of CommunityCommunity is an identity. It defines who you are. Because every community has a specific purpose and nature, through the distinct communities that you are in, people can identify something about your background, interests, situations, dreams, and characteristics: the things that make you you. For example: my friends and other people of my age prefer to call me JoAn, my English name. In contrast, my professors usually call me SungKyung, my Korean and original name. This proves how people in different communities define me from different points of view; my friends define me through communities that I am “voluntarily” in or by traits that I have established, such as my livelihood, my dream to be a cardiac surgeon and my pacifism. On the other hand, professors define me through communities that I am “involuntarily” or naturally in, such as my ethnicity and by the traits that I’ve inherited (I am going to talk about this more specifically later). No matter how different people evaluate me through different communities, it is undeniable that each one of the communities that I am bound with helps to establish the uniqueness of “SungKyung JoAn Kim.”Community is a bond. It binds people together because community is formed by people who share the same, or similar, characteristic. People with similarities can understand each other better. They get along more and better. Finally, they form a community with a distinguishable character and a bond. Among so many communities, nations are the biggest communities and are known for the strongest bonds. Even when the same nationality is the only thing that people share, it can still unite them. In 2002, World Cup was held in Korea and Japan. Whenever there was a game between Korea and another nation, innumerable Koreans assembled in public places. We all wore red shirts—it was the slogan that we chose, “the Reds”—, Taegeuki—the national flag of Korea—, and traditional instruments that make a big sound. All together, we shouted for the victory of Korea. Even my American history teacher from high school, who was traveling in Korea then, confessed that he felt like he was almost Korean because so strongly felt the national unity of the Koreans for in their desire for their nation’s victory. Community is cooperation, concession, and having your own stout supporters. A community can begin with a group of people with similar interests or backgrounds. To constitute a sound community with healthy structures, the members must cooperate with each other, accept and understand each other’s differences. Sometimes, people in such communities need to compromise if the community is to survive. But, when you think about the supporters that you are going to get by cooperating, truly, it is an awesome bargain. Few weeks ago, I had the first orchestra concert. My family could not make it because it is too far away which I perfectly understood but still disappointing. Then, on the concert day, few of my friends from the church came to the concert! They said I am one of the valuable people to them from our church and how could they not come to see me. I felt so supported and during the concert, I could not perform any better. This is the nature of community. The ideal community is described in Acts 2: 44-47: “All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” When you consider others even before yourself, community can be a cozy shelter where you can relax and be happy with people who understand you. 2. The Types of CommunityThere are two types of community: one that you are in without a choice; another that you pursue to be in. Like nationality that we discussed about, there are communities that you are in as soon as you are born, such as your ethnicity, gender, age, hair color…etc. These communities are involuntarily determined for you. For example, I was born in South Korea on April 5, 1988 under the parents, Taedoo Kim and Sukhui Kim. Nobody can alter this fact: this is the innate background that is given only to me on the entire earth. This fact binds me in the community of South Korean. Especially, in America that is called a “melting pot,” the nationality identifies me the first. The fact that I am born in 1988 has led me to meet specific groups of people and form specific communities. For example, I was the class of 2007 when I graduated from high school: I am in the community of the class of 2007 of Center Grove High School. Right now, I am a freshman in Loyola University Chicago, and I am in the community of the class of 2011. If I was born in 1998, not 1988, the people and friends around me could not have been the same. Another type of community is where you voluntarily involve yourself according to your interests: your occupation as a Japanese food cook, your hair style as a hippie, your anger toward ill-treatment of animals, your status as an immigrant…etc. You work to be in these communities, and these become the traits that you establish for yourself. You have to prove that you are qualified to be in these communities. These communities exist within the larger communities, which nobody has control over, by people sharing the common interests and by people perceiving themselves as distinct in some respect from others. Benjamin Carson could be the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital—the leader of the top medical community— since he was only 33 years old because he continuously strove to be. There were a lot of hardships. But Mrs. Carson who always encouraged Ben by saying that “I believe and know that you have a potential to be a great person,” he overcame the bad predictions of his colleagues, went to Yale University and finally became a neurosurgeon which is one of the hardest occupation, so one of the hardest communities to be in, in the world. 3. The Newly Born Communities in 21^st Century. Try to type “community” in Google and you will be surprised if you have the same mindset as I do. The first result you will see is the definition of community on Wikipedia. That is an ordinary pattern, so no surprise. But, the second one you will see is “YouTube-Broadcast yourself.” What? YouTube? How is YouTube related to community that Google ranked it as the second most relevant result for my search of community? YouTube is the website where people, usually young, express their ideas and share the information they have. Actually, it has been forming as a massive international community because here, you can express what you want to share or show to others without any restriction. After the revolutionary invention of computer and internet, now, the communities do not be confined by distance and time difference. For example, I often talk to my friends in Korea through MSN even though there is as long as 14 hours time gap! So, if I chat with one of my friends around 9 pm on Monday night sitting on my desk in Chicago with moonlight, it is 11 am on Tuesday morning in Korea with sunshine. Wow! However, because these communities are formed without any restrictions or specific rules, and you can get out of the community easily whenever you want, the bonding and responsibility toward the communities formed in internet can be weak—of course, some internet communities have stronger bonds than an actual face- to- face communities. Under the ID of anonymity, people curse each other, put up embarrassing pictures of others and invade others’ privacy without any guilty feelings and without knowing that the person and his/her mind they cursed will get wounded greatly. Another horrible result of the formation of communities with high technology is paparazzi. I feel so sorry for some actors and actresses for being too famous. They do not have privacy. Even though the stuffs they do are wrong, disgusting and they should not do it, the weight of embarrassment and accusation afterward is not comparable to what normal people go through after they’ve done the same thing. Everybody is born into many communities. Everybody is involved in some communities involuntarily and voluntarily. Community is formed by the people who share the same, or at least similar, purpose. Every community has a distinct characteristic. So, by being in distinct communities, you establish your identity. Community is a bond that ties you to specific group of people, place, events…etc. Without community, there is nothing that proves who you are. It is where you get heart-ful support. Mark Twain said, “The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.” Yes, as a member of human being and as a member of several communities, let’s be little more responsible and thoughtful to protect our most precious possession, community.

My Violin

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 18:16:00 -0500

My violin is ill.(thousanth tears)

I have played the violin more than 10 years now and have used this violin about 2years now. This violin is made in 2002 in Germany and had another user before me.

When my aunt presented the violin 2 years ago, it soon became one of my best friends that I share my feelings at least one hour a day! Even though it has a lot of wounds on its body—the user before me was just a beginner and did not know how to take care of violin— still, it possesses very, very beautiful sound. It has both delicate and meek side and rough and prideful—that I usually strive not to make—side.

I have my own ensemble at home; it is called JOYKIM Ensemble. It is composed with two violin, viola, cello and piano. Every Sunday, we lead worship service in my church. Also, we often visit nursing homes or other churches and hold a mini concert. Through the ensemeble and playing the violin in front of people, I learned and experienced so much valuable things. I had the incredible opportunity to worship and glorify God with other people. Especially, when the audience would praise God together with or through our performance, I get deeply touched. I am so thankful to God who has allowed the ability to play the violin and worship Him with others.

But, now, my violin is sick; it is not producing—or cannot make probably—beautiful sounds. The doctor said it is time for me to get a new violin.

I do not know what to do. I am losing my best friend. It feels horrible.

Creation: the First Day

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:39:34 -0400

Okay.

Let’s talk about the first day of Creation.

Genesis1:3 says, “And God said, “Let there be light, and there was light.” A lot of people argued that this is not scientific because the celestial bodies, such as Sun, moon..etc., that give out lights were created on the fourth day.

Well, so, is it really not scientific?

Of course, it is scientific.

Visible light that is given off by celestial bodies and that common people usally define as light is just a tiny segment of the entire light spectrum. In 1864, James Clerk Maxwell (1831-1879) developed a mathematical theory to describe all forms of radiation in terms of oscillating, or wave like, electric and magnetic fields; these are collectively called ”electromagnetic radiation.”

As everybody knows, the speed of light is 2.998x10^8 (m/s), and it is equavalent to wavelength(m) times frequency(s-1). There are about 7 types of light; gamma rays, x rays, ultra violet, visible light, infrared, microwave, radiowave, and they are organized in order of increasing frequency.

Anyway, the point that I wanted to make is that celestial bodies can never given off visible lights or ultra violet if there was no wave like electric and magnetic field passing through substances.

Thus, the order of Creation in the Bible is absolutely scientific.

My question is that if creation is just a made up story, how Israelites of few thousands years ago could possibly know about the fact that light should be first before celestial bodies that was finally proved in 1864!

Evolution is Wrong!!

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:20:39 -0400

Well, fortunately, I had a chance to learn about the humoungous fissures in the theory of evolution. I was stunned by the facts—indeed, very simple common sense-like facts—that proved the wrongness of evolutionism. Let me introduce the biggest mistake in the concept of evolutionism.

The changes between pinches in Galapagos Island that Darwin observed are called variations within species, not evolution.

The definition of variation is that individuals within a species will have similar genes but will differ in phenotypic characteristics and behaviour because of slight differences in the genotype and response to environmental conditions. Since Darwin only observed the difference between phenotype, or appearance, of pinches, not the evidence that pinches actually evolved into a different species like a rabbit, it was not evolution. Without any evidence, Darwin just assumed that if the variations within species are possible, the variation between species should be possible. Isn’t that horrible? In later days, he even confessed that evolutionsim might be wrong because of the missing links, the never-found-fossils of the transitional form between two different spieces that Darwin believed that these would exist in somewhere, the confusion between variations within a species and actual evolution of one species becoming a totally different species, no evolutionary observation of plant…etc. However, Darwin loved the theory ardently; he simply could not give up the theory that he devoted his entire life.

Frankly, believing in evolutionism without any discrete evidence seems more vain than believing in creation theory that one God planned everything.

Next time, I would like to discuss about creationism and its validation.

Being a noiselss patient spider...

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 15:35:40 -0400

A Noiseless Patient Spider

by Walt Whitman

A noiseless patient spider,
I mark’d where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark’d how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them. And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form’d, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.

Tereza and Tomas

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 22:12:28 -0400

I understand Tereza, her life, her dreams, her love, her obsession with Tomas, her everything.

But, Tomas cannot understand Tereza; he cannot bear the tough traces that the harsh life left to Tereza even under the name of love.

It is. It is definitely easier for me to understand Tereza because I am at the point of view that knows everything about her.

He loves her, but also, he enjoys other women (especially, Sabina) and accepts thier temptations easily and without guilty feeling (well, first, he did, kinda, but later, he does not) to Tereza who is waiting for him at home.

I do not understand the term of “free love” (or free sexual life), that Tomas in practicing, introduced by Arians after the English Civil War.

It is so irresponsible. I mean, I understand that married people can be attempted by other attractive men or women. But, they ought to be able to overcome the temptations becuase they bound themselves to each other by marriage and by thier own will. And, that overcoming effort is beautiful and show the person’s profound inner strength. But, recently, people do not believe in that. The precious meaning of marriage has been decayed so much!

Love without responsibility…Is that really love?

By the way, this book is called, “the Unbearable Lightness of Being” if you would like to why I am so angry with Tomas.

The fact that nobody really knows me...

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 02:01:26 -0400

May be I am hoping to be remembered by others or I want to show who I was to others although myself well knows that the past is not as important as the present. I am in college right now and nobody really knows me compared to that in my high school, I was pretty popular to both students, parents, teachers and even to the administrators. May be, I miss that “glorious” time. That is why I keep posting the traces of what I have done. Oh, silly me.

But, don’t worry. I am sooo ready to show the real Sungkyung or JoAn Kim to everybody here; I just need little more confidence and I am working on that. Just let me enjoy my grandeur past little bit more before I progress forward by jettisoning my past into the pitch dark, bottomless sea where I cannot look for it anymore.

By the way, this was my salutatorian speech on high school graudation.

How are you today? Today is the day to celebrate your effort, progress, and legacy. So, every student should be happy and proud of themselves.

Actually, until 10 seconds ago, I have been thinking about how to make my speech memorable, meaningful and not boring. But, I could not come out with the idea that about 5,000 people would like it the same. So, I just decided to be honest.

Thomas Edison, the inventor who has brightened the world, said, “Genius is one percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration.” Everything that I could have achieved in my high school years as a student who did not know any English was derived from endeavor, passion, help from others and most crucially, Almighty God. I came to America about four years ago. At that moment, “Hello” was one of the only words that I could speak, and everybody was just repeating, “Blah, blah and blah.”

However, I could overcome the struggles with English through effort to try and learn more. Also, whenever I get frustrated, my passion to be a doctor who truly serves others and God has motivated me to be here. Last, without great help from great people around me, I would not be able to stand before you tonight.

The reason why I talked about the sources of my success, which are endeavor, passion and help from others, is to prove that I am not more special than you are; In another sense, everybody has potential to achieve greatness. These are things that everybody can find in themselves.

As Herman Hesse said, “Everybody is different and has a different story.” For example, some students love to study (may be not many); some love to exercise; some love to talk with their friends; and some love to do everything. We are like twinkling stars in the pitch dark sky. Although each star is at different position, has different size and light intensity, every star is beautiful. We are beautiful as who we are. Each person is unique and important because your life happens once only and never can be the same as another’s. Your life is wondrous and deserving of full attention. It is true that sometimes, your life might not be pleasant; it might be not sweet and harmonious like others; and it might taste of sadness and bewilderment. However, we all have one great thing in common; we have dreams that lead us to overcome any obstacles. Your dream does not have to be explicit right now; we still have times to decide. We just need a solid determination and dedication that you are ready to put forth your utmost effort to achieve your valuable dreams. So, never be frustrated because your dream seems smaller than others or you cannot achieve what you desire. Everybody is given a different life and goal. The essential fact is that you try your best. Then, another opportunity will surely come. So, be confident about yourself. Although there were so many temptations that distracted us from high school life, we have done well; that is how we could be here at this moment celebrating our graduation.

In the book “Tuesdays with Morrie,” the title character said, “Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it; learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others; do not assume that it is too late to get involved.” If you have made any mistake in your life that you have suffered from, accept yourself as you are.

Failure is but a stepping stone to success. Use your mistake to define your future. Don’t be too harsh on yourself because everybody, even the genius inventor, Thomas Edison, made many mistakes. But, Edison applied his failures and finally created something brilliant.

Last, I would like to say thank you to my parents who always support me with prayers and love; Kate, Peter and Lisa who are my lovely siblings and make me smile; my awesome school, Center Grove, my every teacher; so many my friends who became my role models and motivations; lastly but most significantly, God, my Heavenly Father who has given me boundless blessings.

Indeed, it is very sad to part with people that I love, but parting is just another word for new meeting. Wish the best luck to you. I love you all and peace out everybody!

A Philosophy For Success

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 01:56:24 -0400

This was the speech that I wrote for my speech competition. I earned the second place with this speech. Actually, I do not know the exact reason why I am posting this, but it is true that I want to post this. :-) Well, I tried my best in the competition and I am still proud of that. Can this be the reason why I am posting this?? I don’t know! -_ -;;

In 2006, as they annually do, Forbes Magazine announced the 400 richest Americans. I included the list of the first 25 richest people in United States at the end of this essay. There is a special correlation among them. They are all business men! What differences between these men and ordinary people have allowed them to make such fortunes in their lives? Yes, they have been working for profits, and their hard work, luck, and their original ideas have brought them astronomical wealth. It is not right to define success as equaling wealth. However, when you contribute to the betterment of society by accomplishing your goals, you have achieved the main definition of success. This is why, even though not everybody is in business, there should be valuable lessons that everybody can take into their lives because the fundamental purpose of business is to fulfill the needs of others. Then, society will reward you usually with wealth and respect. I believe I always put sincere passion and efforts in my goals as much as those successful business men probably do. Still, they have accomplished much more than I have! For that reason, I suppose these business leaders, especially Bill Gates, have their own strategies for success. Let’s thoroughly investigate what their valuable philosophies of success are, and apply them into out lives and be the success men.

For a long time, the richest person in the world has been William Henry Gates the Third, the Chairman of Microsoft Corporation who has magically transformed the earth into the planet of software. In the book Business @ The Speed of Thought, he said, “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” Sometimes, since he has a duty of selling, Bill Gates has to force himself to smile and be gentle to disheveled, impertinent, and even pompous customers. Those unhappy customers would make his day exhausted. However, through the experience of confronting ill-mannered buyers, he has learned valuable lessons. He has learned how to be patient, how to be not affected by those impolite people, how to control his mind and behaviors at terrible circumstances, and may be even how to turn the unhappy customers to trust and love Microsoft. Here is the heart of his philosophy; confront the obstacles of your life, and by doing so, you will be the hero of your future.

I came to America when I was in eighth grade, and my first class in America was social studies. I was extremely scared because the only words that everybody spoke was, “Blah, blah, and blah.” However, I thought if I try hard, I could easily master English in a month! So, from the beginning, I attempted to be fluent with my friends in English although I was often confused. I tried to use only sophisticated vocabulary. I was brave. But, all of my strategies failed, miserably. Constantly, I chose the wrong diction in my essays: I could not find my voice in the phrases that I wrote. I took twice as long as my classmates when I composed any papers, so I had to stay up until 2 a.m. to finish up the writing homework. Sometimes, I even stuttered like Phillips Carey, the protagonist of Of Human Bondage by William Somerset, when I tried to communicate with my acquaintances. Especially, my low SAT English score injured my confidence so much since I believed I had tried my best. As a result, I almost gave up studying English any more.

However, failure is but a stepping stone to success. I perceived that my problem was that I had recklessly tried to master English fluently from the beginning! My ego and pride led me to ignore the obvious fact that I could not speak and write in English. I needed a support system. Everyday, from my freshmen year to junior year, I memorized 20 new words to improve my vocabulary such as effervescent, gossamer, pulchritude, ichthyology, and interregnum. Regularly, I have written a diary in English to hone my writing skills. Without any exception, since my sophomore year, I have written Bible verses in English to learn about God and become comfortable with more formal English. Even though, at times, my family would try to stop my cacophonous and cranky voice, I have always read all my English books aloud to loosen my tongue and improve my recalcitrant pronunciation.

Now, it has been already four years, and I must admit that I have not yet vanquished English which was my FOE. However, it does not mean that I have not progressed. As my Korean culture teaches, one constant drop of water will penetrate the sturdy rock. So far, I finished my AP World Literature with the grade ‘A’, I was chosen as the recipient of the Outstanding English Student of the year out of my 520 native colleagues, I served as the President of Business Professional of America and right now, I am at the prestigious BPA speech competition which looked impossible to me four years ago!

Yes, Bill Gates was completely right. “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” When I just thought about my barrier, I could not do anything except just complain about it. But, when I started to think about how to overcome the obstacle, I could find the solution.

When a life hands you sour lemons turn them into delicious lemonade. This is the core philosophy of success that business men have proved to the universe.

home...

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 01:39:05 -0400

John H. Payne who is the author of “Home Sweet Home” once wrote,

“Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,

Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.”

Although I have been in college only for ten days, my dorm room and new friends are nice, the cafeteria has great foods…etc., my home is just too sweet and graceful.

After I again contacted with my sister’s loud laughing sound, my father’s horrible jokes, my mom’s ambrosial food and warm hugging, the amalgum of happiness that I felt cannot be expressed.

When the world objectively and precisely calculates my appearances, my characters and my background, so, when I must buttress myself up to not be collapsed by the world, home embraces me as myself; whether I am a good student or a bad student, whether I am fat or thin, whether I am funny or boring and whether I am a good Samaritan or a murderer Barabbas…

Home, where my family who loves me and ardently prays for me dwells, where my mind feels so peaceful, where I met Jesus Christ, my Savior, and where my life had grown, “Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.”

I pray for that everybody has some place called “home.”